A Doormat?

You have heard that it used to be said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, but I tell you, don’t resist evil.  If a man hits your right cheek, turn the other one to him as well.  If a man wants to sue you for your coat, let him have it and your cloak as well.  If anybody forces you to go a mile with him, do more – go two miles with him. Give to the man who asks anything from you, and don’t turn away from the man who wants to borrow.

Matthew 5:38-42 [Phillips]

Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look:  “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.”  Is that going to get us anywhere?  Here’s what I propose:  Don’t hit back at all.  If someone strikes you, stand there and take it.  If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, gift-wrap your best coat and make a present of it.  And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life.  No more tit-for-tat stuff.  Live generously.

Matthew 5:38-42 [The Message]

I have written down this text in two of the more modern translations because this passage is really hard to swallow.  Phillips is a translation, The Message is both a translation and a paraphrase, and the message Jesus gave here is not appetizing in either case.  One could almost call this a prescription for being a doormat – or worse. 

I was raised with the concept that you treat others the way you would like to be treated.   That’s all well and good if everyone is working on the same principle.  That’s not, however, how the world works.  Most everyone is out for #1 – and I think this is one of the points that Jesus was trying to make:  Don’t engage another person in a battle of one-up-man-ship.  There are no winners in that game.

Much of life is divided into winners and losers.  There are endless games, reality shows on TV, boardroom battles and supposed friendships that pit people against each other – with only one person coming out the winner and everyone else the losers.  If you aren’t the winner, you are a weak wimp, a scab, a big L on the forehead of life.

It is actually the perpetrator – the bully - who is the weak link in the chain, and when you set your heart on retaliation, you sink to the same level.  Jesus knew that this teaching would be difficult, but he taught it anyway. What do I take from it today?  When you are faced with an adversary, do everything in your power to turn them into a friend.    

You Have Heard It Said...

You know the next commandment pretty well, too:

“Don’t go to bed with another’s spouse.”  But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed.  Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body.  Those leering looks you think nobody notices – they also corrupt.

Matthew 5:27-28 [The Message]

I don’t watch much TV these days.  It isn’t that I don’t have the time… I just don’t have the interest.  There are two shows that I always try to watch:  NCIS and Castle, and I love Masterpiece Theatre on PBS, but other than that, I just don’t bother.  Why?  It is because I don’t care for the blatant immorality that is the basis for so much of television these days.  If I am not to conduct myself in that manner, why in the world would I want to sit and watch someone else do it, or listen to endless innuendos and jokes on the subject?

I have been on my own now for six years, and occasionally one of my girls will inquire as to whether or not I am ready to look for another relationship.  My daughters and well-meaning friends have slowly learned that I don’t want their matchmaking help.  I will never forget, however, a conversation that I had with one of my children on this subject.  She was expressing her loving concern about my being alone, and strongly urged me to seek another relationship.  She also had a piece of advice:  “If you are going to enter the dating scene, Mom, you will have to forget about your old-fashioned ideas of morality.  Society is different now, and men expect more.” 

Oh, really?  Hmmm…that which was morally wrong when I was a kid is now expected behavior?  Perhaps – but not for me.  Jesus said that your heart could be corrupted by merely looking – a truth that the world’s addiction to pornography sadly illustrates. What another human being might “expect” from me is not nearly as important as what God wants for my life.  Purity of mind and heart may not be an easy task, but it is an eternal goal.

GO!

If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you – abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right.  Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.  Or say you’re out on the street and an old enemy accosts you.  Don’t lose a minute.  Make the first move; make things right with him.

Matthew 5:23-25 [The Message]

How easy is it for you to say, “I’m sorry”?  Truth be told, I think all of us have a little bit (or a big bit) of difficulty with that task.  First of all, it is hard to admit you are wrong;  that one always sticks in the craw.  Once you’ve finally admitted that perhaps (certainly?) you did have a part (major portion?) in the conflict, then there is the matter of speaking to the other person. 

I do things wrong so often (on a daily basis?), that it should be easy for me to say, “Oops!  My bad!  Sorry about that.”  Should be easy – definitely is not.  What if the other person laughs in your face?  What if they do not accept your apology?  What if they won’t even speak to you?  What if… what if… what if…  People love e-mails, cell phones and texting for many reasons, but one of them is the ease with which one can have a conversation without having to face the other person.

Obviously there weren't any e-mails or texting in Jesus’ day, though there was letter writing of sorts.  However, Jesus said, GO – leave immediately. Don't waste any more time! Go to the person, and when you get there, be the bigger person and acknowledge your wrong first.  Make it easier for the other person to admit their wrong, or graciously accept your apology.  Don’t turn and walk the other way when you see someone that you have a beef with.  Don’t lose a minute!  Make the first move.