Argue your case with your neighbor, and do not reveal the secret of another, or he who hears it will reproach you, and the evil report about you will not pass away.
Proverbs 25:9-10
The summer after my second grade year, our family moved to a new home in the Encanto North District of Phoenix. It was a little brick rancher – too small for our family of five, but with a huge corner lot that allowed my father to promptly add on a new kitchen, family room, bedroom and another bath. We thought our new home was perfect. Our neighbor to the south apparently didn’t think so, for he quickly sued us for property line infringement.
My father quietly went about contacting the lawyer and a family friend who was a judge. Mama was a completely different story. She was a talker with few inhibitions on subjects for discussion, and she made the whole affair a family project: recording the comings and goings of our neighbor, taking clandestine photos of his own property line problems, and rallying our neighbors against our accuser. The suit was eventually thrown out of court, much to my father’s relief and Mom’s satisfaction.
Learning to keep my mouth shut has been a life-long process. I vowed that I would never use gossip about friends and neighbors to teach “life lessons” to my kids as my mother used to do, but it sometimes happened anyway. Gossip has such a sweet flavor because it makes us feel so much better about ourselves. It takes a while for us to learn the bitter lesson that those who will gossip with us will also gossip about us.
Solomon, the wisest man ever known, advised: Keep any argument between you and your adversary. My father, the wisest man I’ve ever known, advised: Learn to zip your lip.
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