A Time to Stay and a Time to Leave

Copyright 2012: singeronthesand

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue,

but with actions and in truth.

1 John 3:18 

A couple left the church a few weeks ago, and tomorrow will join another church in an adjacent town.  Normally I would think nothing of this, because people often change churches for numerous reasons, and as long as they are attending somewhere, it shouldn't matter exactly where.  This particular case was close to home for me, however, because of the purported reason why the couple left.

The story involves a particular gentleman in the church who would not speak to this couple, particularly the husband.  Whether the source of discord was a previous argument, disagreement, or just genuine dislike, a prominent member of the church made the decision that this man was invisible to him.  "Just ignore that!" you say?  Easier said than done - particularly with a steady diet of this over a long period of time.  After awhile, it is much easier to leave than to endure.

I was the wife of a beloved pastor who was caught in adultery and fired by his denomination.  Many in the congregation were huge fans of my husband, and in their minds, such an unbelievable transgression on his part must have been caused by something/someone else: i.e., his wife and children specifically.  The church broke into different factions - with some speaking to the girls and I and many others not - with all of them whispering behind their hands.  Walking through the church entrance was like entering a walk-in freezer.  It took just a matter of weeks to drive us away.   I finally joined another congregation; my children have not darkened the door of their church since. 

Whispered gossip is difficult enough to endure; public shunning is another matter entirely.  Love is not a form of speech, it is an attitude and an action.  God does not call us to pick a few familiar friends to love; He calls us to love everyone - friend and enemy alike.