The Unvarnished Truth

An honest answer

is like a warm hug.

Proverbs 24:26

When I was in my teens and went to my father for advice, or for his opinion on how I looked, what I was wearing, a new hairstyle, or any other terribly important topic to my teenage mind, he would invariably look me straight in the eye, give me his cockeyed grin, and say:  Do you want the truth, or a nicely varnished lie? 

When I ran into my problems with the chorus ladies and made the decision to "retire" from the group immediately, I faced the task of informing the director.  I consider him a good friend, and would not hurt his feelings for anything.  There was also the little matter of a solo I was supposed to sing in the Vivaldi presentation.  I briefly flirted with the thought of coming up with some urgent emergency (you wouldn't believe!!) that had suddenly (and unexpectedly) popped up from no where (things like this do happen), and I just wouldn't be able to perform (oh, I am so disappointed!).  That thought quickly went out the window, however, because I value him far too much to lie to him.

Friendships are based on trust, and I needed to trust him to understand the unfortunate circumstances and my decision to vacate the field.  Telling someone the truth says, "I trust you with my honesty and with my feelings; I know you will try to understand and give me the benefit of the doubt."  It was trust well placed, for I received a reply of sorrow for what had happened, and complete understanding of my ensuing decision.  His statement, Thank you for being so honest with me" truly warmed my heart.  I gave him the unvarnished truth, and received a warm hug of friendship in return.