Monogamy II

...the two shall be one...

Why do two human beings form a relationship with each other - any kind of a relationship - a friendship, a partnership, a marriage?  Why do we form a close attachment to another individual?  There are many, many reasons, among them:

• Love
• Sex
• Shared interests
• Emotional togetherness
• Financial security
• Security in general
• Companionship
• Fear of aloneness

At the very basis of friendships, courtships, partnerships and marriages is trust.  I trust my friends that they actually like me and mean me no harm.  We trust that our partners are looking out for not only their best interests, but ours as well.  We trust that our significant other actually cares about us as a person, rather than our money, our possessions, our title, our fame, or simply sex.  And we trust that our spouses actually meant the words that are contained in the standard wedding vows - to love and to cherish.  That trust means:  You are not going to deliberately try to hurt me, you are not going to say one thing and do another, and you are not going to deliberately lie and deceive me. 

When you make a commitment in your professional or personal life, and you deliberately break that commitment, that's a problem.  If you didn't want to follow through, you should not have made the commitment in the first place.  My objection to Ms, Laslocky's CNN article - Face It: Monogamy is Unnatural, is that she excuses infidelity within a supposedly committed relationship.  If you think 50 years with the same sex partner is unnatural, fine - don't get married.  If you want to be able to sample sex from anyone that suits your fancy, fine - but not while you are in a committed relationship.  Be honest up front:  you like the person well enough to want sex with them, but you don't want any complicating ties.  Spell it out in plain English, and then let the other person decide if they are in agreement.  Don't throw the word "love" around to get what you want.  Lots of people think they can have their cake and eat it too.  It simply isn't so.