Watch Your Mouth!

Orchids Galore! Ginter Botanical Garden.  Copyright 2012: singeronthesand

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts.

Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth;

avoid careless banter, white lies and gossip.

Keep your eyes straight ahead, ignore all sideshow distractions.

Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth

before you.  Look neither right nor left;

leave evil in the dust.

Proverbs 4:23-27 [The Message] 

One of my children called the other day to "ask my advice," a phrase that strikes fear to my heart, because it is almost always a catch-22: either say what I think or keep my mouth shut!  Her question, however, was interesting.  Two of her very good friends told her that she had a perpetually negative attitude, always seemed to look for the negative in other people, and then wanted to talk about all those negative things - constantly.  Clearly mystified by the criticism, she asked me, "Mom, do I do that?"

She and I live in different cities, so I have no idea what she talks about on a daily basis, but I have heard her make derogatory comments about other people, and perhaps that is the basis of her friends' concern.  I asked her if it was possible that she talked negatively without even realizing she was doing it.  She gave that some thought and decided that it was certainly possible.  I told her that although I hope I don't look for the negative in other people, I certainly see things that I don't particularly like.  However, recognizing things I don't like and allowing that information to come out of my mouth are two entirely different things.

Occasionally someone comes along who really rubs me the wrong way.  My mind registers the fact that I don't like that person, and I do my best to stay out of their way so that I am not inundated with negative energy.  In that situation, I try really hard not to talk about how I feel.  Commiserating about another person's faults to one of my friends might make me feel better, or a little superior, perhaps, but it doesn't solve the problem of why they irritate me. If I give in to gossip, I will have the added worry that my friend might spread my unkind thoughts.  Far better, I told my daughter, to keep those negative thoughts to herself (put them in a private journal??), and concentrate on trying to see the good in those around you.