Elegy for the Dying

Copyright 2012:  singeronthesand

Listen, dear friends.  Isn't it clear by now that God

operates quite differently?  He chose the world's

down-and-out as the kingdom's first citizens, with full

rights and privileges.  This kingdom is promised to

anyone who loves God.

James 2:5

I received word yesterday through one of my girls that their grandfather, my father-in-law, is dying.  Raymond has had poor health for years now - a very bad back and an equally bad heart.  It appears however, that the end is finally coming, slowly but surely.  Because of many factors - divorce being the prominent one, I have not visited Raymond for almost seven years.  However, I love him dearly and will truly mourn his passing.

If James classified the disciples as the "down-and-out" of the kingdom, he would definitely have used that label with Raymond.  As a young man, Ray was a hard worker and good provider, but the final arrival of five mouths to feed combined with his over-bearing, über-religious wife broke down his coping skills, and he descended into the hell of alcoholism.  Eventually he became unable to work at all, with he and Mom subsisting on government subsidy and disability, living in the projects.  Dad finally came to be able to function without the booze, although he struggled with the temptation his entire life.

He was, despite all these challenges, the quintessential grandfather to my children.  He loved having them come over, received their little gifts with humbleness and great joy, and simply loved them to death.  Ray was not the type of guy who preached about God or talked about his relationship with the Almighty, but he faithfully drove his wife around to her various Bible studies for years and years.  When he no longer could drive, he pretty much quit going to church, but that certainly did not mean that he had turned his back on God.  Whatever he had been before I met him, the man I knew was a humble, kind and very tolerant individual who loved his extended family quietly and happily

Due to the unfortunate emotions of estrangement from the divorce, I will not be able to attend his services.  My children will, however, and they will carry my love and respect as I honor my father-in-law and friend from afar. I've loved you for years, Ray, and despite all that happened, I still do.  I'm looking forward to seeing you in the Kingdom. Go with God.