Forgiveness

Help us, O God our Savior,

for the glory of Your name.

Deliver us and forgives our sins

for Your name's sake.

Psalm 79:9

Forgiveness should be an easy subject, but frankly, it isn't.  When someone else wrongs us, the hurt is often so deep that the thought of forgiving the other person is repugnant to us.  They, after all, are the perpetrators of the offense, and we are the victims.  Why in the world should we forgive them?

Perhaps it would be helpful if we made a list of what forgiveness actually is, and what it very distinctly is not.  Let's start with the latter:

• Forgiveness is not weakness.
• Forgiveness is not condoning or approving the offence
• Forgiveness does not mean that the offence can be swept under the rug
• Forgiveness does not deny that the offence ever took place
• Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened
• Forgiveness does not make the pain go away
• Forgiveness does not restore trust
• Forgiveness does not guarantee reconciliation
• Forgiveness does not trump justice
• Forgiveness does not let the offender off the hook
• Forgiveness is not giving the other person permission to continue bad behavior

What exactly then, is forgiveness?

• Forgiveness starts with a mental decision - a choice
• Forgiveness is based on our attitude, not the other's actions
• Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge
• Forgiveness is letting go of bitterness and resentment toward the other person
• Forgiveness replaces anger with compassion
• Forgiveness realizes that the other person may never admit they are wrong
• Forgiveness of another is a gift you give yourself

 Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds 

on the heel that has crushed it.

-Mark Twain