Getting Along

Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life

and is characterized by getting along with others.

It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy

and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next,

not two-faced.

James 3:17

What do you do when you have to associate with a person whom you absolutely cannot stand?  It might be a classmate, a neighbor, a work associate, or even a member of your family.  The reasons they tick you off might be few or many:  arrogant, rude, mouthy, loud, controlling, deceitful, slippery, know-it-all - the list could go on and on.  The other person's personality clashes with yours, and it is difficult to maintain civility while in the same room.  So how, exactly, do you manage to "get along?"

I have wondered this time and again with a woman that I must deal with professionally.  She is older than I am, which would automatically accord her respect in the tradition I was taught as a child.  She is, however, rude, demanding, mean, and arrogant, and has that attitude of privilege that somehow allows her to ignore the common rules of politeness.  This last week she lashed out at one of my friends, leaving them almost speechless in the face of her spitefulness. 

I wish I had some formula that I could share with you regarding getting along with such a person, but I am as clueless on how to do that as the next person.  I have finally adopted a practice of avoidance as much as possible, placing a boundary on how much I am willing/able to interact with her.  When I do have to speak with her, I try to listen with compassion, reminding myself that she is, in fact, a child of God even when she does not act like one.  As my father would say, "Someone has to be the bigger person in this relationship," and that person would be me.  It's not easy, but with God's help, I'll keep working on it!