Adios papá

Copyright 2012:  singeronthesand

Honor your father...

Exodus 20:12

My father-in-law, Ray, passed away on Sunday evening.  His death was not unexpected, as he had been battling severe heart disease for as long as I have known him - more than thirty years.  He developed a very high fever last Saturday, and finally succumbed to his illness the next day. 

The last time I saw Ray was seven years ago, when my two oldest daughters and I traveled to Arizona to see my parents and my husband's parents (the youngest was still away at school).  My marriage to their son was, for all intents and purposes, long over, and would formally split asunder the weekend we returned home.  I knew this was coming at the time we visited, but I did not tell them as much.  I so wanted that visit - that last visit - to be a peaceful, joyful time for my children and their grandparents.  I regret very, very much that I made little attempt to contact Ray in the intervening years.  I allowed that to be a part of the fallout from the disintegration of the marriage.  

Ray was a simple man with enough demons in his closet to undo anyone, but he faced life daily with courage and determination.  He was a gentleman who loved to read and loved to see his grandchildren.  Emotional pain and his family's disdain kept me from keeping the channels of communication open and flowing.  I apologize, Ray,  You deserved better than that.

If you have broken love-lines between you and a member of your family, do all that you can to repair the breach and share your heart.  There really does come a day when it is too late to do so.  Facing the emotional upheaval is a better choice than living with regret.