Forgive to be Forgiven

For if you forgive other people their failures,

 your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. 

But if you will not forgive other people,

neither will your Father forgive you your failures.

Matthew 6:14-15 [Phillips]

Failure: i.e., wrong, sin, transgression, omission, the act of failing.  It is curious that Phillips uses the word “failure” here.  The NIV uses “sin,” the Revised English Bible says “wrongs,”  and the King James uses “trespasses.”  The NIV, REB and KJV all use words that indicate a wrong act.  Phillips’ use of the word “failure” seems to indicate a breakdown in the core system.

Much of the time, giving forgiveness – real forgiveness – is not an easy task.  Someone has wronged you – hurt you deeply, and they come to you with a sincere apology.  It will take a bit of time and a lot of talking, but eventually the odds are good that you will truly forgive them.  Take the same scenario, however, and change one thing – no apology.  Not only no apology, no remorse and, in some cases, a smug idea that they have nothing to apologize for.  Forgiving in that case is very difficult indeed.  When we have been wronged/humiliated/rebuffed in public, we have a strong, natural need to be vindicated – to prove that we are innocent and the other party is guilty.

Unfortunately, there are times when admission of guilt or responsibility for the actions just doesn’t happen.  Does that mean that we are released from the need to forgive?  No, we are not.  In a case like that, it is even more important for us to forgive, so that anger and loathing do not eat us from the inside out.  And that’s why I like the word “failures.”  If the person who has wronged me has had a breakdown at their moral core – a failure that was directed, unfortunately, on me – it gives me a new perspective on the one who has committed the wrong.  A breakdown of who they are elicits concern for them as a child of God, and allows me to pray for them, exploring with God my anger with them, and releasing it to Him. Sometimes that is a very long process, but the end results are worth every effort that you make.