Liar, Liar II

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an

abomination to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands

that shed innocent blood; a heart that devises wicked plans,

feet that hurry to run to evil, a lying witness who testifies falsely,

and one who sows discord in a family.

Proverbs 6:16-19

One of the most difficult problems for someone who fudges the truth is remembering what you said.  After awhile, it all catches up with you.  Frequently you have to cover the first fabrication with the second one, and so on.  It is an exhausting process, and no one knows that better than I.

When I left home for college, I found that there was no reason to tell someone a direct lie, because everyone was so busy with their own problems that they had little time for yours.  The competition for being special was no where near what it had been in my precollege days, so my efforts at controlling my exaggeration seemed finally to take root.  I won’t say that I never lied, but the problem came more and more under control.  I was finally growing up, and leaving the old dishonest life behind.  I graduated from college, finished my Master’s Degree, and launched myself into a teaching career.  I wanted straight honesty from my students.  It only seemed fair that they should receive the same consideration from their teacher.  

I moved to Canada, where the teaching opportunities were wide open and I did not have to pay tax for two years.  I met a kind, delightful gentleman and married him, and life was wonderful – for awhile.  Then my husband’s need for control began to take its toll, and I willfully stepped back in the path of deceit.  No “little white lies” or exaggerations now – it was living with my mother all over again.  He had a plan for my life, I had completely another.  He hated my teaching and my students, and wanted me at home, barefoot and pregnant.  I loved my career, and the kids were, in many ways, my salvation. Counseling might have helped, but instead, we chose to live a lie.  After seven years, the house of cards came tumbling down, and I was again on my own.

Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies 

soon grow color-blind. 

~Austin O'Malley